Perspective

My favourite blog of 2010 was this one: Pray for ian

I've written about it before but I guess what I wanted to write about today is why I like it so much.

In the past, I read all kinds of blogs. Blogs of people I knew, fashion ones, design ones, blogs devoted to poetry and literature.. all sorts. But this one gives me perspective on my life like never before. For those who didn't read my previous post, this blog is about the life and progress of Ian Murphy, an exceptional guy who was in a terrible car accident some years ago. He survived his accident, spent a long time in coma, came out of it and last summer, he married his long time love, Larissa. He's still suffering terribly from the injuries to his brain but he's recovered a lot.

The honesty of the people who have posted on this blog makes me cry and ultimately inspires me to go on clinging to God in hope.

I know I only seem to post happy things: pretty photos, hopeful music and poetry. But the reality is that in the past year or so, I've struggled with putting my anger or unhappiness out there. I felt that I needed to learn to guard my tongue and be very very careful about what I say. I don't want to write or blog in a manner that would stumble someone else or that would cause other people to feel miserable too. But I sometimes wonder if its an excuse to be disingenous. I don't want to pull people down but I also want to be honest.

It's humbling to watch people walk through terrible, life altering circumstances. It's staggering that they have come out of it praising God and in the process they have shown us what it is to work out your faith with fear and trembling.

The truth is that I've had a pretty awful week and today I got some pretty bad news that made me feel angry, sad and tearful all at once. I hated myself for making a stupid mistake, my throat was still sore from flu and I was so depressed I treated myself to a cab ride home because I didn't have the energy to take the train.

I'm still pretty down and angry at myself. But I'm glad I flipped open my browser and had a look at the prayforian blog again. Because it puts my problems into perspective and it reminds me that the God who did not spare His own Son will make all things work together for good. I may not see it right now, but maybe He'll use my misery and my mistakes and use it to glorify himself. After all, if anything, my mistakes have served to remind me of my own feet of clay.

I'll be happy if I could come out of every circumstance convicted of the twin truths that God is good and faithful and that I am a sinner.

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In peace I will both lie down and sleep;
for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4:8