Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The incredible brokeness of being

Mainly, I just need to whine about how broke I am.

See, my parents generally give me plenty of money and I am incapable of sticking to the damn budget they set me even though I know it's a perfectly reasonable one.

I sit down and do my accounts every so often and I've just discovered that I've overspent by about a week's pocket money. *Big sigh*

Which means I am going to have to be very very careful for the next month. Thank God I actually make myself sit down and do my accounts though, if I didn't I'd overspend even more. At least, this way, I know where I am.

Mea culpa,I guess. I've just been a tad reckless for awhile. Plus I think I get carried away shopping when I'm in the mood. I so need to stop shopping.

I just read the last sentence I typed and started laughing to myself. Me? Stop shopping?? *wild laughter* AS IF THAT WOULD EVER HAPPEN.

Never mind, I think I shall just try to be careful and also maybe get a job.

Friday, June 15, 2007


Last year I received a visit from an old friend who came to Melbourne for a holiday. I realised after a few days that she,like so many other Singaporeans, are pretty much stuck.

I see that even in people who study here or have been living here for a few years. Everything in Singapore is "better", ie. the people are nicer , the food is cheaper/better/tastier, the weather is nice and warm as opposed to freezing in winter and hot in summer and the ang mohs here are racist, the people at home are not racist (!!!). (Ironic, because the term "ang moh" which they bandy about freely, is in essence a racist slur. ) They are confused even by Chinatown, because the dialect of choice here, as in so many other Chinatowns, is Cantonese and not Hokkien. They realise that their accent, so accepted in Singapore, sounds harsh and out of place here.

Basically, they cannot and will not adapt to life overseas. They must have things they way they were used to at home. And at the end of the day, I am sad for them. It is not that life is better here or worse in Singapore. Mostly, it's about the ability to embrace new things, to adapt to new living environs, cultures and mindsets and this seems severely lacking in quite a few Singaporeans I've met.

It's a worrying trend, because unless they are very sharp and very able, staying in Singapore generally means one is pretty reliant on the government. They, like so many Singaporeans I know, have an almost child like faith in the "gahmen", and this worries me because I have absolutely no reason at all to trust the Singaporean governmentl. Just read this, this, this or this.

Be globalized, friends. If one ship sinks, you must have the ability to clamber aboard another and survive. Life is a rat race and we like rats, must know when to leave a sinking ship.


" I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Frank Herbert, Dune

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Test Pic

FINALLY. I finally figured out how to resize photos so that blogger doesn't take a millenia to upload photos.

Yes I am THAT bad with computers.

Anyway, here's the photo from the Belgian Beer Garden that I meant to put up ages ago but was thwarted by blogger.

Looking Back

I finally caught up with an old old friend today. And we worked out that I hadn't seen him for 2.5 years and then found out that along the last 6 months that I hadn't spoken to him, he and another very old friend had both quit their respective Masters programs and were now back in Singapore. Z is now job hunting and C is working at her dad's company.

I realised somewhere along the phone conversation that I was close to tears and realised why.

Those two and I were best friends. We were a triumvirate once. All through late primary, secondary, college and university, we hung out, celebrated birthdays together and found first boyfriends together.

I missed them when they weren't there and realised that they like so many other friends were just some of the casualties of the last relationship I'd had. It was my fault mostly, I'd stopped confiding in anyone, even my nearest and dearest about the crap I was going thrgough. Which meant that for as long as I was in the middle of the crap, I was pretty much unable to talk to or connect with anyone meaningfully for awhile. And the guy in question pretty much discouraged me from talking to them about it as well.

So today, a year and a half after my breakup, I finally made the first move.

I picked up the phone and called them. And realised how much I'd missed them and how much they would have helped me if I'd just been smart enough to talk to them and tell them all the stuff I was going through.

I still miss them so much. And I wish I'd been a better friend. And I will never let another relationship keep me from my friends again. It's just not worth it.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

9 AM and I want to be at church already but I can't go

So it's 9.42am on Sunday and I'm sitting in front of my computer killing time because my cousin who is arriving today has yet to call to say that her flight has landed. I know her flight has landed because www.melair.com.au says so but the fact that she hasn't called yet worries me.

I've been in Melbourne for 3.5 years now and this year, my fourth and final year, it seems that my relatives have woken up to the fact that I don't have a housemate this year and they're flocking to Melbourne like a gaggle of geese. Bad metaphor, I know.

Why don't I have a housemate? I did find myself one but the person in question was the wrong gender so my loving parents nixed it and I found myself having to look for another. Then I realised that I didn't really want to live with 1) Someone I don't know very well 2) Someone from church 3) Someone who might have problems with the Boy being constantly around to use my Internet.

In the end I just got too lazy and decided not to bother looking. If one turns up, well and good. If not...well as it turns out, I'm too busy to be lonely anyway.

Hence the relatives attack. I've had people here every month now and I'm awfully tired. I like having them around. I really do. But it does get a wee bit exhausting.

So after the next lot (from Hongkong) I'm going to tell my mum to start discouraging people from coming in July specifically because I'm looking at my timetable and my course hots up around that time. I can't juggle too many things because I start losing my marbles and then the act is over.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Cure for a bad day

1) First, you shop. Not just window shopping. But you have to buy something. Preferably something that is an enormous bargain. Like cute earrings for $2.40 because they were 75% off.

2) Then you go home and cook. Cook a great meal. One that involves unhealthy but heart warming foods such as melted cheese or fried chicken wings. Which you proceed to eat despite trying to cut down on fat because you're trying to lose weight.

3) Eat dessert. Make sure you have something both chocolatey and gooey. Or hot and sweet like Milo, hot chocolate, horlicks...Or if it's an especially bad day, you should have all of the above.

4) Hug someone. Preferably someone you know of course. Nothing cures a bad day like a few cuddles.

5) You watch a massive amount of American sitcoms/dramas. Such as Friends, or House or Grey's Anatomy.

And if you're still feeling down, rinse and repeat until desired result is achieved.