Saturday, January 3, 2009

Moment of Clarity

It was October the last time I blogged. I was still chugging along with my job, tired and living on a knife edge of stress and exhaustion and caffeine fuelled energy bursts.

Since October,I've taken two holidays. One in Melbourne and one very gluttonous beach one in Penang.

The picture above was taken in the beautiful little vineyard that I stayed in.It's just about 90 minutes drive outside the city and has a little Tuscan style B & B for guests. I went out there and spent my time looking clouds and vines and daydreamed my day away. But the second day at the vineyard,I woke up early and snuck out to the back porch with a cup of tea, my camera and a book. I sat there,sipping tea and just being. It felt so good to be and not do for just half an hour.

This is an awfully late stage to be having epiphanies about what you want to be when you grow up.I don't know if it was the countryside or getting to smell lavender and eucalyptus again that did it. But that day, with the peace and silence of the vineyard about me, I had one. I finally came to realize who I was and what I wanted to do.

Nothing is going to change for now. But I've started making plans for change. This won't be what my parents would like me to do and I'm terrified to my core that I'll fail but I need to try it out.

If you only get one life.

If life is short.

Then you need to spend it on the things that really matter. On spiritual growth.On your kids.On your family,your friends. On a job you love. On making this world a little bit better,more bearable.

2009 will be tough.But I'm going to hang on to my epiphany and keep the dream alive.

As a side note, I love mornings.

Don't you? They're quiet and fresh and the day still smells new and full of possibility. Look at the picture above. The sun is rising, the skies are full of colour. You have time,to plan the day, to daydream and read the papers over coffee or tea. It's just you and the sun and a cup of steaming hot beverage.