Uncertainty

Up until the first quarter of last year, I had been consistently and almost constantly attached for the past 9 years. I haven't been single for more than 6 months since I was in school. Last year when Boy and I were forced to break up due to circumstances, I decided to use the time to doing all the hobbies and things I'd always wanted to try.

This is not to say that Boy kept me from any of it.He didn't, but the fact is that when you're in a relationship,there are time constraints.

I tried dance, first salsa then swing and promptly fell in love with both. I spent nights at work and out with girl friends. I felt so alive that I was amazed. This time that could have been lonely and spent eating ice-cream on the couch turned into the best and most enervating period of my life.

For a long time, the thought of another relationship didn't cross my mind. But in December, I realised that for the first time,I felt ready. Ready to date again and to try again at another relationship. I didn't desperately need one, but I knew that if the opportunity arose, I wouldn't mind trying again.

So. All this brings me to this.

I'm very tentatively just starting to date again. It's terrifying and exhilarating at the same time, taking these baby steps into unknown territory, especially since I've always been one for long term relationships and not casual dating.

Uncertainty. Trepidation.Excitement.Joy.

They're all there. My goal is not to let fear stop me.