Tuesday, November 13, 2018

marked with suffering

Blessed Be Your Name
In the land that is plentiful 
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
Blessed Be Your name
When I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed Be Your name
Every blessing You pour out, I'll 
Turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name
Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's 'all as it should be'
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering 
Though there's pain in the offering 
Blessed be Your name
*
This was a song that was played at a lot of Christian weddings in my twenties. I think I attended at least three weddings where this was the song chosen to play while the the newly married couple walked down the aisle together. It was meant to be a promise? I think? That whatever came, they would bless the name of the Lord.
Now, ten years on, I wonder...I've seen so much in the last ten years. If they had known of financial hardship, miscarriages, fertility struggles, work troubles, sickness, bitterness etc to come -  would they have sung the words "as the darkness closes in..." quite so easily? Would they have been so glib with their promises, so cheerful when talking about "the wilderness"? 
It's hard to articulate this without divulging too much... 
There is a road marked with suffering, and when you have walked it, you will have an understanding of the hardness of life. This road ...it has broken me and made more sympathetic, more understanding, when in the past, I might have been more judgmental and arrogant. It has helped me understand hope and bitterness in equal measure. 
It's a long road.
But every day, I continue to live and breathe and take things moment by moment...and hope for better things and better times. 
And everyday, I think God has sustained me and kept me. 
*
the song ends with this verse:

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
Amen. 

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